The Kids Are Alright

So, A Lot Of Gen Alpha Kids Don’t Understand The Concept Of “Coming Out”

This mom had to explain “coming out” to her kids, and their response will give you hope for the future.

A TikTok mom had to explain the concept of coming out to her Gen Alpha kids.
Emmaline Carroll Southwell / TikTok

Kids give us the chance to see the world through fresh eyes. This can be rewarding, but it means fielding a lot of questions — whether you’ve had your coffee yet or not. On a morning ride to school, Australian TV show host and author Emmaline Carrol Southwell was asked by her children what “coming out” means.

She had the forethought and quick reflexes to record her explanation, and thank goodness she did, because their conversation is a beacon of hope for humanity.

The video begins with @emmalinecs carefully choosing her words, clarifying, “It’s confusing because in some families... cultures and religions... you’re not allowed to be gay.”

This revelation is met with OUTRAGE from the back seat, where two young voices simultaneously shout “What?!” “Why!?” in painfully precious Australian accents.

She continues, explaining, “the term coming out applies to people that need to come out to their families to let them know, I’m gay.”

One astounded child innocently asks, “but why do they have to tell them?”

Her loving reply of “It’s a good question,” is followed with a cautious introduction to the reality that some families will disown a child for who they love. To this, we hear an indignant “What the heck!?” and, “Why does it happen?!”

Knowing the limits of one car ride, she assures them, “It does...it doesn’t have to make sense to you two, but that’s just how it is for a lot of people,” adding that some families choose to rethink their beliefs.

The video wraps up as they agree no one will be coming out in their house, because they are free to love whoever they want. “Easy peasy.”

For us, “coming out,” is an emotionally loaded term entrenched in historical and personal contexts. For these kids, it’s a foreign concept.

If you grew up in what my children refer to as “the late 1900’s,” you had a front row seat to historical shifts in public opinion. In 1996 Clinton signed the Defense of Marriage Act defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman. By 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court would rule in favor of marriage equality. The years between were marked by victories for the gay rights movement, and the ugliness of fervent opposition.

Planned Parenthood describes coming out as the process that people who are LGBTQ go through as they work to accept their sexual orientation or gender identity and share that identity openly with other people. The decision to come out is personal, brave, complicated, and has played an important role in reshaping cultural views worldwide as people realize they know, respect, and love people who are hurt by prejudice, discrimination, and hate.

But maybe in the future, coming out will be no big deal.

The comments are filled with accolades for the creator, her children, and their open, thoughtful communication. The perspective of these Gen Alpha kids moved and inspired commenters, especially in contrast to the attitudes previous generations were forced to contend with.

Emotions ran high for many, including one user who wrote, “I teared up when your son responded with ‘what the heck?!’—there was something so healing about hearing them understand and immediately reject the homophobia I grew up dealing with. ❤️good job, mom.”

Other parents shared similarly encouraging moments with their children. “I adore this generation. I had this exact conversation with my kid when she was 7. Her outrage filled my heart. We are going to be ok.”

Indeed, it is comforting to see that kids who haven’t been taught prejudice find it baffling. For these Gen Alphas, love is love. Easy peasy.