55+ Gilmore Girls Quotes That'll Make You Crave Coffee & Witty Banter

Life’s a little heavy right now, so it’s totally understandable if you need a few words of encouragement. Sure, you could crack open a fortune cookie or write positive affirmations on your bathroom mirror. Or you could put on a gigantic pot of coffee and let it and some of the best Gilmore Girls quotes perk you up! Hey, we all have our ways, right? For us, the witty banter between Lorelai, Luke, Rory, Emily, Sookie, Lane, and the rest of the Stars Hollow gang is a guaranteed mood-booster.

Speaking of Stars Hollow, how much fun would it be if we could break away from reality by traveling to visit the charmingly quaint locale? Alas, it’s fictional — inspired by the magic of New England towns like Washington and New Milford in Connecticut. Which, c’mon, sounds like a pretty amazing road trip adventure, if you ask us.

We’ll start stockpiling books and Pop-Tarts for the trip. For now, though, these timeless Gilmore Girls quotes will have to tide us over.

Lorelai Gilmore Quotes

1. “I don’t like Mondays, but unfortunately they come around, eventually.”
2. (Walking into Luke’s) “Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes.”
3. “Hey, I have a New Year’s resolution for you: Become more cynical and self-absorbed.”
4. “You know my babbling capabilities are infinite.”
5. “Oh yes, it was beautiful in there. We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.”
6. “You can’t watch Willy Wonka without massive amounts of junk food.”
7. “I need coffee in an IV.”
8. “I’m not broken. Maybe just a little chipped.”
9. “If you’re going to throw your life away, he’d better have a motorcycle.”
10. “You’re full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you — I love it!”
11. “I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it.”
12. “There’s plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow.”
13. “Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I’m planning on despising everyone who says, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’”
14. “My mother is fast asleep in my bed, clutching my Hello Kitty pillow, and yes, I have pictures.”
15. “I need caffeine. Whatever form you’ve got it. I haven’t had any all day. I’ll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it’s in, gimme.”
16. “There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous creme pies you can just smash in somebody’s face. But this is definitely one of them.”
17. “Life’s been pretty good to you. It was your turn for a few curveballs. Peaks and valleys, kid.”
18. “If eating cake is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”
19. “If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.”
20. “As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”
21. “I smell snow.”
22. “Reality has no place in our world.”
23. “You have so many years of screw-ups ahead of you.”
24. “I even cleaned the table using something other than the sleeve of my sweater and spit.”

Rory Quotes

1. “He’s like the lost Farrelly brother. He’s so stupid. He watched The Breakfast Club and decided to tape his own butt cheeks together.”
2. “My sock drawer could be a better mother than Courtney Love.”
3. “I live in two worlds — one is a world of books.”
4. “I’m just a big, fat Wookie-humping loser with no future!”
5. “Oh, I found that if I focus too much on one subject, I start to get a little punchy.”
6. “God, you are like a pop-up book from hell.”
7. “A little nervous breakdown can work wonders for a girl.”
8. “You never socialized me properly. I should hate you right now. Do something to make me hate you.”
9. “I’m going to have to quit drinking coffee! And I love coffee — I really love coffee!”
10. “Hey, call me crazy, but I just don’t think that Butterfingers go with jujubes.”
11. “It’s Avril Lavigne’s world. We’re just living in it.”
12. “I can go from zero to studying in less than 60 seconds!”
13. “My books look sad. Can books look sad?”
14. “I feel like this is my time to be rootless and just see where life takes me, and travel wherever there’s a story to write.”
15. “Nothing excites me before 11.”
16. “I love you, you idiot.”

Emily Quotes

1. “Well, it’s not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open.”
2. “I was going to wait until you called me, but my life isn’t as long as yours.”
3. “Well then, buy me a boa and drive me to Reno, because I am open for business!”
4. “You never do anything unless it’s exactly what you want to do. You never have. You go through life like a natural disaster, knocking down everything and everyone in your path.”
5. “Hold on, I’m looking up ‘aneurysm’ in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.”
6. “Well, if you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen by itself, you better go get it a cape.”
7. “Just let me buy my plane, Lorelai. Let me be frivolous and shallow, will you please?”
8. “You can use your mother’s old golf clubs. They’re upstairs, gathering dust, with the rest of her potential.”
9. “You wear that in public?”

More Gilmore Girls Quotes and Conversations

1. “People like you. You’re quiet. You say ‘excuse me.’ You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning.” — Paris
2. “I don’t even like kids. They always have jam on their hands. Even when there isn’t any jam in the house, they get jam on their hands. I can’t deal with jam hands.” — Luke
3. Lorelai: “My mother — she was here. I can feel it.”

Rory: “Grandma hasn’t been here.” Lorelai: “Smell that?” Rory: “Smell what?” Lorelai: “The room… it smells like guilt and Chanel No. 5.”

1. “Gnome-kicking says a lot about a man’s character.” — Babette
2. “You have to tell me why we’re committing a felony before we do it.” — Logan
3. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m great. It’s a big, fat, happy sunshine day for me.” — Luke
4. “People can live for a hundred years without living a minute.” — Logan