Rat Jokes And Puns That Are Squeaky Clean, We Guarancheese It

A good joke is hard to come by, especially ones that you can tell around a dinner table filled with family and friends of all ages. To be honest, rat jokes and puns aren’t for everyone the way cat jokes or elephant puns seem to be. In fact, a lot of people have musophobia, a phobia of rats, and are scared out of their wits by even the rare mention or sight of an actual rat. But that just makes it all the more fun to have some of these jokes in your pocket to get them to crack a smile or, at the very worst, run from you with their hands over their ears.

Still, rats are goofy little critters. From Ratatouille to New York City’s infamous Pizza Rat, these little squeakers are always up to no good, scurrying around, and getting in trouble. So whether you need the perfect rat pun just in the nick of time or want to make your toddler laugh with a silly rat joke, we have more than enough here to get you started. Read on for some of our best rat jokes and puns.

Best Rat Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?

A pie-rat.

1. What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?

Who cares? It’s a relephant.

1. What did people say when they caught the Black Plague?

Aw rats.

1. What do you call a rat with a cold?

Rat-achoo-ouille.

1. Where do rats go to get drinks?

A Squeak-easy.

1. What will a rat never tell you?

A squeak-ret.

1. What do you call two rats in love?

Squeakhearts.

1. What is a rat’s favorite breakfast cereal?

Mice Krispies.

1. What is a rat’s favorite movie?

The Fast and the Furriest.

1. What’s the name of the famous rat philosopher?

Soc-rat-es.

1. What do you call rats who are brothers?

Bro-dents.

1. Did you hear about the skateboarding rat?

He was totally rat-ical, dude!

1. In India, rats are revered…

But in Hungary they are Budapest!

1. What do rats like on their birthday?

Mice cream and cake.

1. Did you hear about the rodent who worked out 24/7?

He was a real gym rat.

1. I play in a band called Arrogant Rat.

We’re kind of like Modest Mouse, but way better.

1. How do rats keep fit?

By practicing ka-rat-e.

1. Do you know how rats fall for rat traps?

I mean, it’s such a cheesy setup.

1. What did the little rat get arrested for?

For Rat-keteering.

1. Have you heard about the rat that got a big job in politics?

She is a bureauc-rat now.

1. Have you met the rat that doesn’t want to tell anyone his name?

He prefers to stay anony-mouse.

1. What type of car insurance do rats usually have?

Road dent insurance.

1. What did the rat say when he saw a bat flying overhead?

Oh my! An angel!

1. What would you name a rat with a wooden leg?

A pi-rat-e.

1. What airline did the rat use when he went on vacation?

Emi-rat-es.

1. What happened to the man who suddenly found a number of big rats in his home?

He was pretty rattled after it.

1. What did everyone call the rat who was very blunt?

He was a no-nonsense rat.

1. What is the one vehicle a rat likes to drive around in?

The Ford Moustang.

1. Why do some people use rat-shaped fishing bait?

Because they want to catch a catfish.

1. How can you get a rat to smile?

You tell it some cheesy jokes.

1. What would you call twin rats who feature in a movie about cooking?

Rata-two-ee.

1. What would you name a drama set with a cast full of rats shooting in Florida?

The Miami Mice.

1. Did you see that big rat on the road?

I think that was a roadent.

1. Why did the rat say “woof”?

Because it wasn’t a rat. It was a chihuahua.