Parenting

These Cheeky And Memorable 'Sex And The City' Quotes Will Carrie You Away

by Team Scary Mommy

Updated: March 2, 2021

Originally Published: Oct. 25, 2019

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True friendship is a rare find, especially in a city like New York. But somehow on Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw, and her friends, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha, made it look seamless and magical. When it came to sex in the city, however? Well, maybe that wasn’t quite as seamless or magical at times. Which is what made the show so funny, and so, so relatable. When these women spilled the tea about their love lives, they uttered some of the most hilarious and dramatic one-liners that every single woman, whether a New Yorker or not, can identify with. Behold: the best Sex and the City quotes.

“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” – Carrie
“F— me badly once, shame on you. F— me badly twice, shame on me.” – Samantha
Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives.” – Carrie
“Maybe we can be each other’s soul mates. And then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.” – Charlotte
“Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?” – Miranda
“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” – Carrie
“Ugly sex is hot. Some of the best sex I’ve had is with people I can’t stand.” – Anthony Merentino
“Why do we let the one thing we don’t have affect how we feel about all the things we do have?” – Carrie
“I read that if you don’t have sex for a year, you can actually become ‘revirginized.'” – Charlotte
“‘Oh my God! Do you know what these are? Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes! I thought these were an urban shoe myth!’” – Carrie
“You dated Mr. Big. I’m dating Mr. Too Big.” – Samantha
“Sexy is what I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.” – Miranda
“I’ve spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live?! I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes.” – Carrie
“I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.” – Samantha
“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen! I’m exhausted! Where is he?” – Charlotte
I save my carbs for wine, it’s called priorities.” – Carrie
“Abso—f—ing—lutely.” – Mr. Big
“Beauty is fleeting, but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever.” – Carrie
“I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.” – Samantha
“I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.” – Carrie
“You two are crazy to get married. Marriage ruins everything.” – Miranda
The only thing I learned that night was that maybe I should have stayed home” – Carrie
“I feel the same way about being a bridesmaid as you feel about Botox. Painful and unnecessary.” – Samantha
“I couldn’t understand a word she was saying, but I felt I had in my possession all the Italian I’d ever need to know: Dolce, Dolce, Dolce.” – Carrie
“We finally have the penis working. I don’t want to scare it.” – Charlotte

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“Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours.” – Mr. Big
“The fact is, sometimes it’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.” – Carrie
“The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you.” – Samantha
“And then I realized something, twenty-something girls are just fabulous, until you see one with the man who broke your heart.” – Carrie
“I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it.” – Miranda
“A closet full of clothes, nothing to wear.” – Carrie
“I curse the day you were born!” Charlotte
“I like my money where I can see it — hanging in my closet.” – Carrie
“I am fifty-f*cking-two, and I will rock this dress.” – Samantha
“Sometimes, as much as I love Brady, being a mother just isn’t enough. I miss my job.” – Miranda
“I’d like a cheeseburger, please, large fries, and a Cosmopolitan!” – Carrie
“The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. I mean, look what happened with Nixon. No one wanted to f— him, so he f—ed everyone.” – Samantha
“Trey, you have a boner…I can’t discuss my notes if you have a boner.” – Charlotte
“I know your friends just fine. Charlotte is the brunette, Miranda is the redhead, and Samantha is trouble.” – Mr. Big
“Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be.” – Carrie
“Last night, Steve and I held hands for an hour and a half watching the fire. He was looking into my eyes, I was looking for the remote.” – Miranda
“What am I supposed to say? ‘Hi, this is my lesbian lover. And P.S.: I’m done with dick’?” – Samantha
“They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.” – Carrie
“I’m a trisexual. I’ll try anything once.” – Samantha
“He raped my face. I’m never dating again.” – Charlotte
“Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better.” – Carrie
“He has one ball, and I have a lazy ovary! In what twisted world does that create a baby? It’s like the Special Olympics of conception.” – Miranda
“And that phrase ‘great love.’ What does that even mean?” – Carrie
“Gay men understand what’s important: clothes, compliments, and c—cks!” – Samantha
“There is a good way to break up with someone, and it doesn’t… involve… a post-it!” – CarrieRelated: These Classic ‘Friends’ Quotes Will Have You Saying “How You Doin’”
“What’s the big mystery? It’s my clitoris, not the Sphinx.” – Miranda
“But it can happen. People do live happily ever after.” – Charlotte
“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed, maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.” – Carrie
“You have a lot of nerve telling me to get a wax. If you were in Aruba the natives could bead your back. – Samantha
“Balls are to men what purses are to women. It’s just a little bag, but we’d feel naked in public without it.” – Carrie
“I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe — and kneel.” – Samantha
“We keep dresses we’ll never wear again, but we throw away our ex-boyfriends.” – Carrie
“He’s just not that into you. So move on.” – Miranda
“I didn’t get married to follow what society wants us to do, we are married, we have the luxury to design our own life.” – Carrie
“I’ll bring the cocktails.” – Samantha
“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it.” – Carrie
“I don’t want to be the up-the-butt girl, because I mean… Men don’t marry up-the-butt girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-The-Butt? No, no, no. I can’t. I want children and nice bedding, and I just can’t handle this right now.” – Charlotte
“So what are we going to do? Sit around bars, sipping Cosmos and sleeping with strangers when we’re 80?” – Carrie
“Oh please, there’s always a competition with an ex, it’s called ‘who’ll die miserable?'” – Samantha
“It wasn’t logic, it was love.” – Carrie
“Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany’s and no one has affairs to remember.” – Carrie
“He doesn’t even know me, the least he could do is get to know me before he rejects me.” – Miranda
“Alrighty? He said alrighty? Now I’m thinking the upsetting thing isn’t that you proposed, it’s that you proposed to a guy that says ‘alrighty.'” – Carrie
“If I worried what every b*tch in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house. – Samantha
“Sometimes the wrong choices lead us to the right places.” – Carrie
“I am never going to be happy. It’s not going to happen for me.” – Miranda
“Life gives you lots of chances to screw up which means you have just as many chances to get it right.” – Carrie
“I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.” – Carrie
“Easy?! You men have no idea what we’re dealing with. Teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex. And all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing.” – Samantha
“You and I are like that red wall. It’s a good idea in theory, but somehow it doesn’t quite work.” – Carrie
“Monogamy is on its way out again. It had a brief comeback in the 90s, but as the millennium approaches, everyone’s leaving their options open.” – Stanford Blatch
“Women come to New York for two Ls: labels and love.” – Carrie
“To me the mark of a fine penis is width.” – Miranda
“I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe – and kneel.” – Samantha
“After all, seasons change, so do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart, and if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.” – Carrie
“In a courtroom, reasonable doubt can get you off for murder. In an engagement, it makes you feel like a bad person.” – Miranda
“I used to think those people who sat alone at Starbucks writing on their laptops were pretentious posers. Now I know: They are people who have recently moved in with someone.” – Carrie
“Listen to me! The right guy is an illusion. Start living your lives.” – Samantha
“Some love stories aren’t epic novels, some are short stories… But, that doesn’t make them any less filled with love.” – Carrie
“I’m a 34-year-old woman with braces and I’m on a liquid diet. Pain doesn’t begin to cover it.” – Miranda
“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” – Carrie
“I suggested he have a tomato salad, then I suggested we get married.” – Charlotte
“There comes a point in every relationship when romance gives way to reality.” – Carrie
“Men in their forties are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and you’re never really sure you got the right answer.” – Carrie
“When men attempt bold gestures, generally it’s considered romantic. When women do it, it’s often considered desperate or psycho.” – Carrie
“Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls… because they can.” – Samantha
“Anyone who’s single in Manhattan gets a little freaked out from time to time. But we keep trying because you have to figure … somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us, understand us … and kiss our three heads and make it all better.” – Carrie
“Your good friend Miranda has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.” – Miranda
“Don’t play hard to get with a man who’s hard to get.” – Samantha
“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” – Carrie
‘For something called a fling, it looks like a lot of work.” – Charlotte
“The hard thing about fighting in relationships is that there’s no referee. There’s no one to tell you which comments are below the belt. As a result, someone usually gets hurt.” – Carrie
“I love you… but I love me more.” – Samantha
“I said no white, no ivory, no nothing that says virgin. I have a child. The jig is up.” – Miranda
“And, finally, the most important breakup rule: No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never go through it without your friends.” – Carrie
“Is a relationship saying his name fifty times more a day than my own?” – Samantha
“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens” – Carrie
“The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” – Carrie

This article was originally published on Oct. 25, 2019